Chronicling the Process . . .

So, I've been chronicling the book writing process in my journal.   I thought I'd share my journey thus far:

3/27/11: At dinner, we talked about the Bradley Cooper movie premised on “if a pill could make you rich and famous, would you take it.”  The question “if you could take a pill to be anything, what you be?” was posed.  First thing out of my mouth was “author.”  I paused, surprised by my answer. Really?! I asked myself.  Really. I responded.

4/9/11:  I told my mom and dad I had decided to write a book.  They weren’t particularly thrilled. My mom asked me if writing a book was distracting me from looking for my next job. I said looking for a job was distracting me from my truest calling.  I hadn’t expected full-fledged support necessarily, but it would have been nice.  My guess is that they’ll come around. They just want to ensure I'm financially stable, which makes perfect sense.

4/15/11: I'm telling as many people as possible I’m writing a book.  The more I say it, the more I start to believe that this will happen.  I need to hold me accountable.

4/30/11: Fricking internet, distracts me everytime. Nothing blocks my creativity than looking at my gmail/facebook. So why do I do it?

5/10/11: What I am realizing is that the more I tell people I’m writing a book, the more they tell me that they, secretly, have been writing down their stories too.  Who knew I was living amidst such secret authors! Why are people not sharing this beautiful part of them?  Is it because of expectation? Such a beautiful thing though for us to share this with each other, in a vulnerable, if not abashedly, admittance that we too want to be a story teller.

5/30/11:  I told myself I’d write today and then wasted a ton of time on my computer. Wtf. My mind was telling me to write and I acted like a complete addict and couldn’t give off the internet.

6/3/11: Went to my high school reunion and told my old English teacher that I was writing a book, he wants to invite me back in the fall and have me talk to the high schoolers about this process. Excited. But GULP. I’m doing it!

6/10/11: Happy birthday to me-bought my ticket to Mombasa Kenya for a month in September-October. Writer’s retreat here I come.

6/14/11: I need to be reading more. Need to collect more knowledge from the outside b/c starting to doubt whether I have it inside. But then again, all the answers are inside right?

6/16/11: I meditated this morning and what do you know, the words are flowing like water! It’s 7:32 in the morning, and I know I should go shower and get ready for work, but I simply don’t want to stop writing.  Last week I kept having writers block and doubts about the validity of anything I was saying. Now I just want to put it all out there and see what sticks.

6/21/11: I finished the Artist’s Way. But it’s really just the beginning. Can't decide whether to write this morning or clean the apartment (a normal morning debate).

6/27/11: I miss the Artist’s Way. Haven't done my morning pages, and they ground me.  I need to buy a journal to start writing down when women say wise things (which is often). Everytime I try to remember their story and try to write it down later, I never say it as well as they said it.

6/29/11: I pulled out all old journals from my bookshelf. All my life thoughts on the past 8 years of my life.  Going to read them and feel weird. Scary that most of what I think isn't true.

6/30/11: Roll out of bed and first thing I do is start to write. I cant help myself. Don't feel like going to work, but obviously not an option. Writing a legal opinion translates well into writing a book, right?  Although there is an undercurrent between justice and healing and the telling of narratives, I'm just not sure quite how it all comes together.

7/12/11: Went to my first writing group. Everyone says I should blog before writing a book. I stopped blogging to write a book. I’m screwed.

7/19/11: Submitted my first thing to my writing group, what should I give them? Gave them old blog entries to convey my voice. Wasn't particularly thrilled at what I chose.

7/25: Got my first writing sample back with edits. Think English paper w/ tons of red writing on it. But good advice.

8/5/11: Started blogging again. I needed it-helps me reclaim my voice.

8/20/11: Returned home to visit parents at lake house w/ intention of writing. Found out I have an interview at a job in Spanish. So rusty. Freaked out. Took daily Spanish lessons. No book writing.

8/27/11: Submitted an essay for women and power and WON! Good boost for morale.

9/25/11: Began writing "retreat." In Kenya, here I go.

10/1/11: James Pearson tells me about his book--he has a whole plan for what he's going to do when it's finished. Should I have plan on what I'm going to do when I'm done? Not there yet, must keep writing.

10/2/11: Intervention from Christy telling me to stop reading self help books.

10/3/11: Totally changed the narrative of book. 2 weeks left to focus before NYC distractions creep up on me again. 

10/5/11: Jared and Ilea sit me down on talk to me about the process of publishing, self-publishing, marketing, branding, etc. I need a permanent life coach. Can't I just hire some one to do all these details? Jared already got a book deal. Maybe it's good luck to be around him.